Sunday, December 19, 2010

Lam Throws Typical Early-Season Hissy Fit


Karen Townsend listens patiently to a camper's concerns.


Key run camp organizers have successfully held off an attempt by GladHander Blaine Lam to suspend all run camp activity "until we can bring this thing back under control."

Calling an emergency meeting of the Run Camp Tribal Council, Lam was able to secure a two-week hiatus in the weekly Saturday runs, but his efforts to invoke sanctions and mete out punishment to campers, coaches and team leaders went unheeded.

"Blaine thinks marathoners are whiners. Combine that with his, let's say, edgy personality and his Grinchy approach to some of your more festive holidays and he can be a handful," noted Tessa Emenheiser, who voted in unison with other council members to reject Lam's basic proposal to "shut 'er down."

Lam complained to fellow organizers that:

• There's too much hugging at camp. ("We're a hand-shaking camp.")
• All this spirit is going to come back and bite us. ("Gang signs in the second week? Really?")
• Too many flavors of cream cheese for the bagels. ("Why do we baby these people?")

Compounding Lam's annual complaints about "excessive giddiness" by co-leader Chris Lampen-Crowell was the addition of Karen "Little Miss Sunshine" Townsend to the organizational team. It reportedly bothers Lam that Townsend not only listens to campers concerns -- many of which are about Lam -- but deals with them.

Townsend, who works full time with Lam, says she has learned how to deal with his outbursts. "We just email him photos of his grandkids, and he chills."

A council member who spoke on the condition of anonymity said, "We'd bounce Blaine in a heartbeat, but we don't dare risk losing Bobbie as camp photographer."

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Is Black the New Black?



The Borgess Run Camp Fashion Committee on Saturday, meeting for the first time since last April, got a sobering look at what may be in store for the Winter of 2010-2011.

"That was frightening," said Camp Color Coordinator Tessa Emenheiser, interim chair of the committee, which meets every Saturday afternoon for the first four weeks of camp and once a month after that. "I've seen less successful 'black-outs' at Bronco football games."

The camp's Fashion Committee advises camp and community leaders about weather trends, economic conditions and societal mood swings, based on their extensive knowledge of what dress says about the human condition.

Building on such relationships as the link between rising hemlines and a rising economy, the Fashion Committee includes two Ph.D economists, a meteorologist, a fashion designer and Emenheiser, who has a background in commercial development and a flair for law. She said nothing should be made of the fact that she, herself, was wearing black Saturday.

While the Committee's reports are never made public (and are now protected from WikiLeaks), the emergence of black early in the season over the camp's 17-year history has not boded well for weather.

"We're going to get slammed," predicted Gazelle Sports store manager Rob Lillie, a former member of the committee and a finalist for the still-vacant Camp Historian position.

Emenheiser cautions that camp normally begins in late January, so that will be factored into the Committee's report and recommendations.