Future of Run Camp Said To Be In Peril.

In an interview yet to appear in Michigan Runner, Borgess Run Camp co-founder Blaine Lam reportedly said the 13-year experience was on its last legs.

According to transcripts of the interview, Lam said he expected the popular camp to be replaced next year with Shuffleboard Camp. "I just don't think running has a future," closes source to the publication reported he said. "By contrast, shuffleboard appeals to all ages, is virtually recession proof -- except for in the cruise ship category -- and is transferable to bars."

It wasn't clear as Michigan Runner went to press if Chris Crowell would resist the reorientation or switch Gazelle's clothing direction toward shuffleboard apparel.

Continuing Education Opportunities Abound At Run Camp

CLARENCE'S TEAM TAKES ADVANTAGE OF BORGESS RUN CAMP DISCOUNT TO ENROLL IN "MODELING GOOD BEHAVIOR" CLASS AT KIA.

When Rebecca Fechik signed up for her correspondence course on "What Zombies Can Teach You" through the University of California at Santa Clara last month, she was shocked and delighted to learn she had received a Borgess Run Camp Discount for the course.

Although the Run Camp Continuing Education perk is not that well known among some campers, an increasing number is taking advantage this year, some for the love of learning while others are retooling for the "new economy."

Artis Freye, for instance, is enrolled in a Distance Learning course at the Univesity of Wisconsin at Stevens Point on "How To Beat the NASA Entrance Exam," a three-credit course that normally costs $89 per credit hour, available through Run Camp at $79 per credit hour.

"I would have signed up anyway," said Artis, "because it has been my lifelong dream to become an astronaut. I guess what they say about those renegade camps is true. You get what you pay for."

Campers who want to learn more about continuing education programs and classes made cheaper (and in some cases made exclusively possible) through Run Camp should contact Tessa Emenheiser during a training run.

(The answer to the correct translation on the photoblog is "Beware The Enemy Within")

Who's (Really) In Charge Here?

THIS PHOTO OF WHAT IS BELIEVED TO BE A SECRET COUNCIL GOVERNING RUN CAMP WAS TAKEN AT BORGESS WOODBRIDGE LAST WEEK.


With rumors spreading faster than banks can fail, new theories popped up this week about what forces are driving Run Camp, and what the future holds for those committed to four more weeks of expeditions and six weeks more of organizational torture.

"I suspected Blaine Lam didn't have a clue," said Tim Bredahl, one of a growing number of disgruntled team leaders, "and between the fact that he rarely runs and what with the drivel he puts on the blogs, it's clear his mind is in another place."

Fears that Chris Crowell is now just using camp as a place to get in shape were compounded by reports that camp's "last organizational hope," Janeen Docsa, was on an "extended skiing vacation in Colorado."

"It probably shouldn't matter," said Team Leader Dan Moyle, "but conspiracy theory is conspiracy theory. And now we're hearing about the formation of cabals and the re-emergence of spies and moles on half-marathon teams. Very unsettling."

"When does Bobbie Lam get back?"

Lam: No Bailout for Run Camp

An attractive Stimulus Package offer from the Obama administration to provide Run Campers with free running shoes and windbreakers was rejected by the camp's tribal elders, said to be ruled by Blaine Lam's iron fist.

The offer reportedly came through President Obama's high-ranking Cabinet members who were aware of Chris Crowell's close connections with progressive causes and the fact that Crowell's store would benefit from the package.

Crowell, who was aware that Lam had packed the tribal council with relatives, thought the deal would go through because he and Lam had written similar viewpoints about the need to get America moving again.

But Lam, who belongs to the Make Poor People Suffer Now party, reportedly knew the deal would hurt his chances to force Gazelle to complete the $1.5 million buyout of Cheetah, a store Lam planned to open in the old Dragon Inn space downtown.

"Hey, I know what ails Americans," said Lam. "It's tight calves, IT Band Syndrome and plantar fasciitis. I'm not putting this organization on the dole."


(Neither Blaine nor Chris knew the other was doling out advice this week on how to survive the recession. Chris is at http://www.keepmovinggazelle.blogspot.com/ and Blaine wrote "The Only Investment Guide You'll Need In This Recession" at http://sharetext.blogspot.com)