This Test Has Stood The Test of Time

Today you laugh at the things that used to scare you. When will you laugh about what scares you today?


This is the 15th anniversary of the creation of PFQ -- the Personal Fear Quotient -- introduced in the newsletter of this region's first true run camp.

The Campfire Log: Burning Issues from Speed Canyon Camp was written back in the day when men were men and women were fearless. Speed Canyon Camp's only Team Leader Blaine Lam, who got his team members lost on purpose and who hid water stations as a training technique, happened to be the camp's newsletter editor, and he harped incessantly on the theme of overcoming fear. Here, reprinted with his permission, is the PFQ.

All fear basically falls into one of four categories (fear of flying, fear of dying, fear of animals and fear of people with power). Give yourself points for every question to which you can answer yes.

1) Fear of Flying:

a) Been on an airplane (2 pts)

b) Frequent Flyer (depends on airline)

c) Jumped out of an airplane (6 pts)
i) before it took off (minus 12 points)
ii) without parachute (this test is definitely not for you)

d) Visited aviation museum (1 pt)


2) Fear of dying:

a) Looked death in face (2 pts)
i) without direct eye contact (1 pt)
ii) liked what you saw (20 points)

b) Regularly attend funerals (2 pts)
i) only of people you know (1 pt)

3) Fear of animals:

a) Petted snake (3 pts)

b) Have ridden livestock
i) Bull or steer (5 pts)
ii) Cow or calf (2 pts)
iii) Plastic Merry-go-round (1 pt -- hey, it's a start)

c) Picked up spider or mouse (2 pts)

d) Eaten "authentic" Mexican food (3 pts)

e) Owned a ferret (5 pts)


4) Fear of People With Power:

a) Told a naked emperor he's not wearing any clothes (3 pts)

b) Openly criticized Jon Stewart (4 pts)

c) Talked back to your children (3 pts)

d) Suggested to your boss that the two of you add the sum of your two salaries and share the total equally (5 pts)

e) Fought City Hall (2 pts)

f) Fought the law, and the law won (3 pts)

g) Took a swing at someone bigger and stronger than you (must have been sober to qualify) (3 pts)


How to score: 45-60 points: You are fearless. Quit your job . . . 30-44 points: Just normal fears. Might consider spending more time with animals . . . 15-29 points: You are probably afraid of what this test means. . . 1-14 points: Does the thought of getting help frighten you? . . . 0 points: Visit the Air Zoo.

You can overcome fear!

Some experts say that right up there with fear of flying and fear of dying is the fear of trying. Analyze what you want and what's the worst thing that could happen if you tried to achieve it and failed. Or try this exercise: If you could live your life again, what would you do? What do you fear that is keeping you from doing it in this life? Just looking for a good start? Then try taking all the fear out of your daily language. Right now, you're probably saying, "I'm afraid I can't do that." Looking for a good movie on the topic? Rent Defending Your Life, with Meryl Streep.

We get questions. Boy, do we get questions.

As they seek the meaning of life through training to achieve new goals, our curious, curious campers won't give it a rest. In order that we don't have to keep repeating ourselves, here are the answers to the five most commonly asked questions at Run Camp:

1. Why does Jen Lindsay get to sing the National Anthem, and if she gets sick, may I sub in?

A. It's her birthday, that's why. And if she gets sick, take note that we've got the Vienna Boys Choir scheduled to sing "Don't Stop Believing" at the finish line, and they'll be moved into Jen's slot.

2. I've heard there are only 14 aid stations on the marathon course. Can we get a few more set up just for run campers?

A. It's true, we baby run campers, but the answer, unfortunately, is that we can't let the run camp tail wag the marathon dog. Slurpees will be on sale at 7-Eleven. And there's a 13-mile Quit Station in the Winchell neighborhood, where they'll be serving beer. You can fake a quit, have a beer, and resume.

3. What kind of car does Chris Lampen-Crowell drive?

A. He drives a Gazelle, manufactured by New Balance. Sadly, he has to replace it every 500 miles or so.

4. How come no one can ask a serious question around here? Let me rephrase that. How come no one can get a serious answer to a question around here?

A. That's a really good question.

5. What's the fifth-most commonly asked question in run camp?

What's the fifth-most commonly asked question in run camp?

It's True!

Brought up on a series of charges ranging from Excessive Publicity to Upstaging Camp Organizers, Team Leader Sheila Clothier was given a one-week suspension from camp. To the delight of her team members and the amazement of camp officials, Clothier's persona was "transformed" in a manner that drew international attention and was declared a "world first."

"You've heard of people becoming a 'caricature of themselves', reported Eli Wiggleham, executive director of the New Zealand Association of Ufology and Paranormal Phenomena. "Well, Ms. Clothier managed to become a puppet of herself. We have no doubt -- suspension or not -- that woman was at camp Saturday."

To avoid an international incident, camp officials lifted Clothier's suspension immediately.