Say It Ain't This, Chris

The "Voice of the Borgess Run," Chris Crowell shocked Run Camp and Race loyalists alike Saturday when he announced his retirement, effective immediately, from the the winter and spring activities at which he was the central figure.

Although Crowell told a small gathering at a hastily thrown-together news conference that he planned to "pursue other interests," insiders suspected that the long-standing rift between the energetic running advocate and the other two members of the Run Camp triumvirate, Blaine Lam and Janeen Docsa, had reached the boiling point.

Lam and Docsa accepted Crowell's resignation "with regret," but refused further comment.

"I think Chris felt he could take this thing to the next level, you know add a marathon or something," offered Artis Freye, one of Crowell's many sidekicks at camp. "A lot of us always thought he was the brains of the operation. Blaine had his ego. Janeen had her rules. A guy only has to put up with so much."

Lam loyalists -- Brian Lam and Bobbie Lam -- saw it differently. "You'd probably be surprised the things I know," said Bobbie. "We were watching American Idol one night, and right out of the blue Blaine says, 'you know, Chris doesn't think he should have to take his shoes off in the gym during the slushy season.' That kind of thing. Plus, not to be uncharitable, but a guy turns 50 and you're never quite sure what's going through his head."

"That's not it," suggested Gazelle insider Tessa Emenheiser. "Hey, do the math. Blaine and Janeen have ties to the mother ship. Chris works for himself. How many 2-1 votes can you lose?"

A number of team leaders were expected to gather this week to attempt to salvage the situation. "I mean, what if it is just adding a marathon?" said long-time leader Kelly Elder. "We could get behind that."

"I shudder to think of waking up on the morning of Borgess and trying to get through the day without hearing that voice," said Elder. "My team is counting on it. Heck, everyone's counting on it!"